Coming November, 2026
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The Reluctant Psychoanalyst
A Daughter's Memoir
It is said that every memoir is an exorcism.
Sylvia’s charismatic Polish Jewish father, a psychoanalyst and Holocaust survivor, expected her—indeed, groomed her—to join him in his quixotic mission to save the world from another genocide by spreading his version of the gospel of Freud. As his doting daughter, completely enmeshed with him, she complied, blind to his narcissism and toxic boundary-crossing. Then, when she was twenty-three and just two days into her psychiatric residency, he died.
Left with an introverted Gentile mother with her own tragic past, Sylvia remained professionally hobbled by ambivalence towards her not-so-freely-chosen profession. But decades later, after a powerful ceremony at Yad Vashem in Jerusalem honoring her mother’s courage for hiding her father in Rome during the war, Sylvia began to write . . . and finally found her voice.
Praise
“Moving, incisive memoir of family, psychoanalysis, and the legacy of the Holocaust.”
—Booklife Reviews, Editor’s Pick.
“The Reluctant Psychoanalyst is a fascinating exploration of the historical background and family dynamics of an American woman raised in the shadow of the Holocaust. With great insight and compassion, Flescher reveals the tenacity of our childhood perceptions of our parents and assumptions about ourselves, while charting the arduous path to discovering and reclaiming her true identity.”
—Helen Fremont, national bestselling author of After Long Silence
—Salman Akhtar, M.D., Training and Supervising Analyst, Psychoanalytic Center of Phildelphia, and author of Comprehensive Dictionary of Psychoanalysis.
—Irene Kacandes, Dartmouth Professor Emerita of Comparative Literature and German Studies, and author of Daddy’s War
“What is it like to be the daughter of a Holocaust survivor father, who also happens to be a psychoanalyst? In this beautifully written and compassionate memoir, Sylvia Flescher explores her father’s outsize presence in her life (including his expectation that she follow in his footsteps) as she labors to develop her own voice and vocation. A profound meditation on the intergenerational transmission of trauma, The Reluctant Psychoanalyst is essential reading for anyone who seeks to understand the ongoing legacy of the Holocaust, as well as the healing possibilities of gentle, quiet, and sustained reflection.”
—Madelon Sprengnether, author of Crying at the Movies
“This wonderful book is a gift to us all. Beautifully written and as riveting as it is profound, Sylvia Flescher’s memoir is a tale of courage, resiliency, and self-discovery. It is truly inspiring.”
—Ted Jacobs, M.D., Training and Supervising Analyst, New York Psychoanalytic Institute.
“The Reluctant Psychoanalyst: A Daughter’s Memoir is a moving story of grief, inheritance, and finding one’s voice. Sylvia Flescher looks back at a childhood shaped by her close and complicated relationship with a larger-than-life psychoanalyst father too big to separate from, and a mother too wounded to fully reach—and finds, in looking back, both compassion and freedom. Through the discovery of her cousin Elsa’s diary from the Stanislavov ghetto, Flescher shows how writing can be a way to heal and to keep our loved ones alive.”
—Kerry Malawista, author of Meet the Moon and Wearing My Tutu to Analysis
“A charming, intelligent, utterly engaging memoir by a delightful writer, likable, smart, and honest . . . One cheers her on as she struggles to get free from her brilliant, infuriating, and controlling father, and become her own person . . . Any analyst, any would-be analyst, any person would benefit from reading it.”
—Arlene Heyman, M.D., faculty, New York Psychoanalytic Institute, and author of Scary Old Sex